Alternate History Traveller Guide [3/7]
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- Max Belankov (2:5054/2.31)
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- Date
- 1997-09-13T20:14:20Z
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- PERM.LANGUAGE
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Whether or not you recognize Pope John, you will certainly be impressed
with his court. The Curia at Avignon is much more glittering than its
counterparts at Rome and London, where recent Popes have emphasized
asceticism and Church poverty at the expense of pageantry. In addition
to the daily ceremony, tours of the cathedral are also available; the
admission price of 2 ecus 2 livres per person (discounts for families)
includes a free indulgence. Visitors from the Holy Roman electorate may
wish to view the statue of Emperor Sigismund, whose unlooked-for
championship of Pope Benedict at the Council of Constance (1414-1418)
established the Avignon Papacy firmly at a time when its existence was
in danger.
Visitors seeking lodging in Avignon can stay at any of the city's
monasteries free of charge for one night, although accommodations will
be rough and - especially at major feast days - crowded. Those seeking
more comfortable accommodations may stay at one of Avignon's famous
hostels (rooms start at 25 ecus, more during busy seasons) or at the
guest house adjacent to the Papal castle (rooms 46 ecus; on-site chapel
available; discounts for families and clergy).
(From Fodor's France, Aquitaine and Burgundy, 1996)
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Kedamono
Mayan Empire
1996 by Kedamono
"In spring, visitors to Tikal can participate in the Festival of Ah
Mun, the god of
maize. The pageantry of the this all important Mayan festival will draw
you deeper
into this most interesting of cultures. The people are friendly, and
are willing to
indulge tourists up to point. The point is one of sacrilege.
More than one festival has nearly been ruined by a well meaning, but
misguided
individual, who mistakenly tries to stop the ritual sacrifice of a
criminal or slave.
The Maya do not take this lightly, and it is quite possible that you'll
end up as the
next sacrifice.
But, watching is also not an option. Mayan religious practices are a
interactive set.
Hallucinogenic drugs, balche , an intoxicating drink made from honey
and the bark
of the balche tree, ololiuhqui , and other herbs and plant extracts
will be... given to
you. It will be expected that you take them, so do so, just keep your
detox pacs handy
for afterwards, you're going on a little trip. Smokers are warned to
stay away from
Mayan cigars, as the nicotine level in them is enough to induce
hallucinations.
As pointed out, the climax of the festival will be the sacrifice of a
criminal or slave,
as well as a blood offering of the current ruling monarch of Tikal, 9
Jaguar. The
human sacrifice is done in the traditional method, with obsidian
daggers, with
the sacrifice bound prostrate on the alter.
When 9 Jaguar gives his sacrifice, do not be alarmed if several Maya
around
spontaneously shed blood from themselves too, either by piercing their
genitals
with knives or needles, or running a barbed cord through their tongues.
If you
decide to join in, please use the sterile needles in your kit, provided
for this eventuality."
From the Tikal Chamber of Commerce's "Welcome to Tikal" guidebook.
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Marty Busse
Castro's In NYC
1996 by Marty Busse
Visitors to New York City chould be sure to visit the colorful sites
that make
it such a great city. In addition to the usual spots, two new entries
stand out.
Castro's is a sports bar run by the former Senators and Yankees great,
now retired.
It is famous for it's rum drinks and Castro's encouragement of indoor
smoking,
especially of the Cuban cigars he providesfree to customers with each
meal.
(1 cigar per customer per meal.)
Also be sure to visit the Leningrad, as restuarant run by the family of
former
Bolshevik and former B-Movie actor Leon Trotsky. Trotsky, famous mainly
for his portrayal of a mad scientist in the movie "Forbidden Planet,"
made a
fortune in stocks, which he left mainly to his family and the CPUSA.
Borscht
is a particular speciality, and the "Party Purge" drink is guranteed to
put you on
ice for a while.
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Stalin's in Chicago
1996 By Marty Busse
This rather tacky tourist trap showcases life in Chicago during the
mayoral term of Joseph Stalin. (1930-1953.) Many of the famed events
from Stalin's mayoralty are shown here, as well as reconstructions of
what might have happened. The Cermak murder is recreated in especially
nasty detail, with Stalin's henchman Frank "The Enforcer" Nitti
portrayed as the killer, instead of the Democratic Party underlings
Stalin showed as guilty.
There is also a fascinating, though still tacky, audioanimatonic
exhibit on Mayor Stalin's life. Everything is there: his upbringing in
Gori, Georgia, his years as a revolutionary, the Revolution, Lenin's
murder at the hands of Fanny Kaplan, the subsequent political struggle,
which led to the SRs and Bolsheviks forming a coalition government,
Stalin's exile (along with other Bolsheviks, most famously his rival
who became an actor, Leon Trotsky), and Stalin's subsequent creation of
the Midwestern Labor Party during the 1930s, and his rise to Mayor.
Some of the famous moments of Stalin's mayoralty are also shown: the
big construction projects, of course, as well as Stalin's refusal of
permission to hold the Democratic Naitonal Convention in his city. WWII
has a high place here: Stalin's appointment as economic supervisor for
the greater Chicago region, and his successes (and failures) there are
shown. The picture of Stalin and Hitler (during Hitler's 1938 visit
to Chicago to drum up support for the idea of collective security
against the Bolshevik menace) is still striking: it's almost as if the
two men were destined to come together in a political alliance.
Of course, what really draws the attention of this museum are the
"atrocities" of Mayor Stalin's term in office. He is completely blamed
for the Cermak murder, although, as everyone knows. there is no real
evidence connecting him to this tragedy. The purges of Chicago's
gangster population that the police conducted during the late '30s are
represented as excessive and misdirected: according to the exhibit,
Stalin really put most of the former Capone mob to work for him. The
owners of this smear factory even claim that the Capone trial was
fixed-that it was a "show trial," and that prosecutor Ness was allowed
to bring in all sorts of illegal evidence. Even if this is true, who
cares? Everyone knows Capone was a crook, and he got what he deserved.
The wreckers who own this joint are especially fond of Daley's "secret
speech" denouncing Stalin's "excesses" as mayor. This two faced Judas
is shown, believe it or not, in a positive light. None of his failures
(such as the 1968 convention, or the 1979 blizzard) are shown here.
Daley's death of heart attack in 1980 is represented as murder, and the
drive by shootins in which his sons died are, according to this place's
version of history, part of some plot by Stalin's former henchmen.
After seeing this exhibit, it is obvious to me that Stalin's Chicago
deserves to be torn down. And, if it was in Chicago, I have no doubt it
would be. Mayor Vrdolyak would not allow such a smear on the reputation
of a great man to be displayed. However, it is in Gary, Indiana, at
least until the Gary authorities show some sense and close it down.
Mayor Stalin left Gary alone during his incorporation drive of the
1950s, when many Chicago suburbs were annexed into the city: this was
one of his few mistakes, and it isn't shown in this museum of wrecking.
Perhaps Mayor Vrdolyak should correct this oversight.
From an editorial/restaurant review in the Chicago Truth, the
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John Reiher
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